17 Appropriate Consequences for Poor Behavior {and the Bible backs it up!}

It may not seem like it, but unfortunately, we are a family that yells.  Dave and I try to keep our cool, we try to “seek to understand” before losing said cool…but nine times out of ten, we end up yelling at the kiddos.  Hey, it happens right?  But our knee-jerk reaction to their mistakes is an automatic time-out, loss of privileges or the occasional spanking.  Very seldom do we take the time to stop and think about appropriate consequences that “fit the crime,” let alone scripture that backs it up.Crime LogoI find myself often searching online for creative, natural and appropriate consequences that can be backed up by scripture.  Not only do I want to correct the behavior, I want to give my kids the “why” as well.  So I found a couple of sites, in addition to some of the methods we use, to help create a little cheat for us parents.  Here are the other blogs that I found that had some good suggestions {please check them out!}:

House-wifery

Confessions of a Homeschooler

Raising Arrows

Meaningful Mama

I can’t promise that I will keep my cool or always remember these scriptures.  But I figure if I have a go-to place where I can find appropriate consequences {that’s also Biblical} for a common childhood behavior, then hopefully it will be a teaching lesson as well as correct the behavior.

 Destruction of Property:
{Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”}
Consequences: Clean up the mess, as well as doing chores for the person whose property was affected, earn money to pay for item

Arguing or Fighting with each other:
{2 Tim 2:24 “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”}
Consequence: Sitting face to face with each other, holding hands.  Apologize for harsh words, ask for forgiveness and come to a compromise on the argument.

Bragging:
{Proverbs 27:2Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth;
    an outsider, and not your own lips.”}
Consequence: Apologize, and list 5 things for which they are thankful

Whining and Complaining:
{Phillipians 2:14 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing,” or Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”}
Consequence: Loss of privilege, having to be last in an activity or do extra work {depending on what they were whining about}, or list 5 things they are grateful for

Mean or Disrespectful Words:
{Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.”}
Consequence: Letter of apology, with kind words in it

Laziness:
{Deut 6:5 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”}
Consequence: Start the task over again to complete

Lying or Deceit:
{1 Peter 3:10 Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”, Proverbs 17:4 A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.”}
Consequence: Letter of apology

Gossip:
{Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict,
    and a gossip separates close friends.”}
Consequence: Apology and set things straight with people they gossiped to

Poor Manners/Decision Making:
{James 4:17 “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”}
Consequence:  extra work, do the right thing with an apology

Poor Self Control:
{Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”}
Consequence: After calming down, apologize to those affected

Selfishness:
{Hebrews 13:16 “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”}
Consequence: List things they are grateful for, find items to donate, community service

Stealing:
{Ephesians 4:28 “Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.“}
Consequence: Return items, additional work, write Bible verse

Tattle Tailing:
{Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”}
Consequence: Copy verse, they lose the item they were tattling about, apologize and use words to talk it out

Discontentment:
{1 Tim 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” }
Consequence: List of things they are grateful for, loss of 1st world privilege {tv, toy, iPad}

Dirty Words/Cursing:
{Ephesians 5:4 “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”}
Consequence: cleaning

Disobedience:
{Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”}
Consequence: Proximity to parents, extra work/mundane tasks to practice obedience

Hitting/Physical Behavior:
{Titus 3:2 “to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”}
Consequence: Hugging, holding hands, along with an apology

I hope some of these ideas help your children to correct their behaviors, while also learning the importance of their actions.  If you have any other creative ideas for appropriate consequences as discipline, please share them in the comments!  Remember that these are just some ideas that I’ve compiled…be sure to adjust consequences depending on the severity of behavior, age of the child, and appropriateness in general.  Not every situation fits into a mold!

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 I’m linkin’ up this week!

Fearlessly Creative Mammas

 

 

 

 

Sunday Scripture: Work

I have a new job!  Well, really it’s nothing new….just “official” now.  For the past 5ish years I’ve been handling the curriculum and logistics for the kids’ ministry at my church.  I do all of the social media, compile all of the weekly lesson materials, and do the scheduling of all of our kids’ volunteers.  I love it!

When we first started going to our church, we just attended.  We loved the services, music, and general feel.  But it wasn’t home.  Yet.  But then, our pastor {who was one of our very good friends, and even married us}, kind of threw us into realms of volunteering.  At first, we resisted….Dave doing the technology piece {slides and such} during worship, and me helping out with the kids areas.  He didn’t really feel like being the IT guy for church when that’s kinda what he does all week.  And I was burned out from teaching and thought I wanted nothing to do with kiddos on Sundays.

But after a few weeks of settling in and then taking ownership of our new positions, we began to feel more connected with people in the church.  The senior worship staff, the band, the set-up crew.  And for me, I was getting to know kids and their families on a personal level each week.  The senior staff has done a fantastic job of making us feel like we are absolutely indispensable…which makes us even more responsive and responsible in our positions.Sunday Scripture: Work .... a new job and a familiar callingI don’t have a link for today’s Sunday Scripture…beautiful though, isn’t it?

And after 5 years of running the backside of the kids’ ministry team, I’ve finally decided to take on the role part time for the church as an “official” staff member.  My duties won’t change, although my workload will slowly increase as our ministry gets larger.  But now, I’m part of a team.  It’s been a long time {8 years!} since I’ve worked for someone else and been a part of a staff.  And although there are just 7 of us in the “official” capacity, I’m excited to be a part of the backbone of our awesome church!  #BetterTogetherSC

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Temple

“Your body is a temple.”

How many times have I heard this snibbet of a Bible Verse?  It’s sprinkled all over the Pre-Tween Christian parenting resources that I’ve been scouring recently…especially the ones on how to talk to our kids about their bodies and sex (Can you believe it’s almost “The Talk” time?!?!).  So, that’s what I associate that verse with.  Sexual morality and respecting our bodies.  But then, the rest of the verse….

“So glorify God in your body.”

In other words….

Sunday Scripture: Temple {How are you REALLY treating yourself?}

Sunday Scripture Image is from The Daniel Plan book

There are so many other ways to take care of this physical vessel God has given us.  And although I don’t usually do New Year Resolutions, the start of each year does make me contemplate what my priorities should be.  And this year, this verse really resonated with me.  Maybe it’s because I’m once again running a Biggest Loser Challenge on Facebook; my mind has been wrapped around creating nutritional and physical challenges, as well as motivational and accountability ideas for everyone participating.

If you’d like to join our challenge, head over to our Facebook page {Biggest Loser 2017} and request to join…we’ll get you all set up!  But hurry!  Registration ends tomorrow… Monday, January 9th! 

Sunday Scripture: Temple {How are you REALLY treating yourself?}

Sunday Scripture Image found on A Merry Life, but originally tagged from Peak 313

And now that my feet are healthy again, I’m back in full swing at Bootcamp.  Where the emphasis is strength, power and endurance.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really hoping that the weight loss piece will also be in there.  But I’m ok with focusing on the long-game.  Now that I’m done having kids, and I’m getting closer to *ahem* middle age, I’m more concerned about keeping my body and mind as healthy as possible for the rest of my life.

Emphasis on “mind” as well.  I’m fully aware of how busy life is, and how thin I am constantly being stretched.  So part of this Sunday Scripture is also my reminder to take a break.  Do something that gives me joy.  Rest.  Take care of ALL of myself….so I can be a better servant to God, my husband and my kids.  Cuz we all know that if Mom’s down, the whole house is down!

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Christmas Peace

We are officially in the countdown to Christmas…according to the numerous Advent calendars dotting the walls of my house.  And even though it’s a time of celebration, family and tradition, it also carries a lot of pressure and stress with it.  For those who have lost loved ones, it’s a difficult time full of memories.  And for those that celebrate the holidays with a happy heart, there is still *everything* that needs to be done.5daa855867fe9b4beb474de75b2cc912Sunday Scripture image courtesy of Nicki Koziarz

Decorating, shopping, cooking, planning, creating, shopping, Christmas cards, cookie swaps, class parties, picking out a tree, Advent, ornaments, wrapping, Eggnog, reindeer, Elves on Shelves, visiting Santa, holiday lights, church, Christmas outfits, shopping, eating, cleaning, hosting….

Can we all just agree not to judge each other?  That way, maybe we can take a breath, relax, and just enjoy the blessings that come with Christmas.

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Thankful Cards

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, there were so many lovely printables of the many, many Bible Verses about giving thanks….it was hard to choose!  So when this image popped up on my Pinterest feed this morning, I checked out the Good Enough] blog that was linked to them and found a gem!

Instead of focusing on one thankful Bible verse, Kim made a bunch of free printables of different scripture about giving thanks.  And I love how she has hers displayed on a small clipboard display, easily interchangeable.Sunday Scripture: Thankful CardsSo instead of having just one Sunday Scripture for you today, I thought I’d give Good Enough] a little love and send you over there to grab some free printables for Sunday Scripture about giving thanks!

Have a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend and a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Grateful

We’re hosting Thanksgiving again this year.  It’s honestly one of my favorite holidays…especially to host.  With the south’s mild weather, it’s usually in the 60’s…perfect for leggings, boots and vests.  Every year we have a different set of guests that come to dinner, but that’s half the fun of it, getting to appreciate new people each year.  I love cooking the side dishes as we watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.  Dave and the guys smoke the turkey all day outside, while the kids play in the yard.Sunday Scripture: Grateful

Today’s Sunday Scripture art was created by A Cup Full of Sass….isn’t it gorgeous?!

 Thanksgiving is a week I unplug and spend time with my family and friends.  I have so much to be grateful for!

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Blind

Whelp.  No matter how you feel about it, we have a new president.  And although I’m not sure what the next four years will look like, I am still so glad and blessed to be an American.  And I’m choosing love and faith.  I’m choosing to continue to love my neighbors {no matter their beliefs, orientation, race, political view, parenting style, etc.}, and have faith in God.  Those are the things that are the most important.  Look it up.Sunday Scripture: Blind...I'm not sure about what the next 4 years look like, but I still have faith in God's Plan. #SundayScripture #faith

Today’s Sunday Scripture image is courtesy of All Womens Talk.

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Election

Well, no matter who you support {or not…}, the fact is that we will have a new leader of America this week.  And yes, I’m just as concerned as you are about the outcome of the election.  However, I know that God knows what He is doing, and I trust Him.  I pray for our country, all of the candidates, and for all of the voters.Sunday Scripture: Election...a Bible verse to remember as you pray about the election this week. This Sunday Scripture image has one of my favorite verses on it.  Pretty much applicable to anything in life, but an especially great Bible verse for this election week.  You can buy this pallet with the verse on it from Rusticly Inspired on Etsy.

Please pray for guidance before you vote, and remember we answer to only Him in the end….have faith.

Have a blessed week!

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Sunday Scripture: Raising them Up

We have been blessed with three beautiful children, that we are raising to love Jesus.  And it just makes my heart fill with joy when we catch those spontaneous moments that they express their love for Christ without any prompting.  It happened twice this week.

Dave told me the sweet story about how during bedtime prayers, Millie strayed from her usual prayers for her “lovies” and thank you’s for food and a house.  And instead, she thanked God for dying for us and for giving us church to go to.

And Friday morning, on the way to school, I caught Lincoln playing peek-a-boo with the sun as we drove, and it disappeared behind buildings.  Then, out of the blue, he says, “God made the sun.  And God made me…..I love God!”  I got a little choked up that he would make those connections himself, so all I could reply was, “God loves you too baby!”Sunday Scripture: Raising them Up....when this mama catches her kids praising God without prompting #faith #childrenofGod #SundayScripture

I found this beautiful work of art on Pinterest, with no credit.  So this week’s Sunday Scripture doesn’t have a link.  If you know who’s image it is above, please let me know so I can give credit!

Have a blessed week!
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Sunday Scripture: Aware

I know, I know.  Today’s Sunday Scripture is not actually a verse from the Bible.  But I saw this on Pinterest from Time-Warp Wife, and it made me stop in my tracks.  It’s such a fitting quote for me this time of the year.  I believe in God with my whole heart, but it seems that Fall is a season of intense physical appreciation for me.  I’m constantly aware of the perfectly blue sky, the gorgeous shades of the changing leaves, and the relief of cooler weather.  And in my appreciation of the beauty that God has surrounded us with, I am able to see the good in the world, and all He has done for us.Sunday Scripture: AwareAnd with all my awareness with the miracles around me, I find myself in steady conversation with God.  In my personal busyness that comes with the season and impending holidays, I feel like all of these changes in nature are God’s way of reminding me that He is always here, and wants a relationship with me.

Have a blessed week!

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