17 Appropriate Consequences for Poor Behavior {and the Bible backs it up!}

It may not seem like it, but unfortunately, we are a family that yells.  Dave and I try to keep our cool, we try to “seek to understand” before losing said cool…but nine times out of ten, we end up yelling at the kiddos.  Hey, it happens right?  But our knee-jerk reaction to their mistakes is an automatic time-out, loss of privileges or the occasional spanking.  Very seldom do we take the time to stop and think about appropriate consequences that “fit the crime,” let alone scripture that backs it up.Crime LogoI find myself often searching online for creative, natural and appropriate consequences that can be backed up by scripture.  Not only do I want to correct the behavior, I want to give my kids the “why” as well.  So I found a couple of sites, in addition to some of the methods we use, to help create a little cheat for us parents.  Here are the other blogs that I found that had some good suggestions {please check them out!}:

House-wifery

Confessions of a Homeschooler

Raising Arrows

Meaningful Mama

I can’t promise that I will keep my cool or always remember these scriptures.  But I figure if I have a go-to place where I can find appropriate consequences {that’s also Biblical} for a common childhood behavior, then hopefully it will be a teaching lesson as well as correct the behavior.

 Destruction of Property:
{Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”}
Consequences: Clean up the mess, as well as doing chores for the person whose property was affected, earn money to pay for item

Arguing or Fighting with each other:
{2 Tim 2:24 “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”}
Consequence: Sitting face to face with each other, holding hands.  Apologize for harsh words, ask for forgiveness and come to a compromise on the argument.

Bragging:
{Proverbs 27:2Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth;
    an outsider, and not your own lips.”}
Consequence: Apologize, and list 5 things for which they are thankful

Whining and Complaining:
{Phillipians 2:14 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing,” or Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”}
Consequence: Loss of privilege, having to be last in an activity or do extra work {depending on what they were whining about}, or list 5 things they are grateful for

Mean or Disrespectful Words:
{Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.”}
Consequence: Letter of apology, with kind words in it

Laziness:
{Deut 6:5 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”}
Consequence: Start the task over again to complete

Lying or Deceit:
{1 Peter 3:10 Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”, Proverbs 17:4 A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.”}
Consequence: Letter of apology

Gossip:
{Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict,
    and a gossip separates close friends.”}
Consequence: Apology and set things straight with people they gossiped to

Poor Manners/Decision Making:
{James 4:17 “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”}
Consequence:  extra work, do the right thing with an apology

Poor Self Control:
{Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”}
Consequence: After calming down, apologize to those affected

Selfishness:
{Hebrews 13:16 “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”}
Consequence: List things they are grateful for, find items to donate, community service

Stealing:
{Ephesians 4:28 “Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.“}
Consequence: Return items, additional work, write Bible verse

Tattle Tailing:
{Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”}
Consequence: Copy verse, they lose the item they were tattling about, apologize and use words to talk it out

Discontentment:
{1 Tim 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” }
Consequence: List of things they are grateful for, loss of 1st world privilege {tv, toy, iPad}

Dirty Words/Cursing:
{Ephesians 5:4 “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”}
Consequence: cleaning

Disobedience:
{Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”}
Consequence: Proximity to parents, extra work/mundane tasks to practice obedience

Hitting/Physical Behavior:
{Titus 3:2 “to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”}
Consequence: Hugging, holding hands, along with an apology

I hope some of these ideas help your children to correct their behaviors, while also learning the importance of their actions.  If you have any other creative ideas for appropriate consequences as discipline, please share them in the comments!  Remember that these are just some ideas that I’ve compiled…be sure to adjust consequences depending on the severity of behavior, age of the child, and appropriateness in general.  Not every situation fits into a mold!

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 I’m linkin’ up this week!

Fearlessly Creative Mammas

 

 

 

 

Sunday Scripture: Work

I have a new job!  Well, really it’s nothing new….just “official” now.  For the past 5ish years I’ve been handling the curriculum and logistics for the kids’ ministry at my church.  I do all of the social media, compile all of the weekly lesson materials, and do the scheduling of all of our kids’ volunteers.  I love it!

When we first started going to our church, we just attended.  We loved the services, music, and general feel.  But it wasn’t home.  Yet.  But then, our pastor {who was one of our very good friends, and even married us}, kind of threw us into realms of volunteering.  At first, we resisted….Dave doing the technology piece {slides and such} during worship, and me helping out with the kids areas.  He didn’t really feel like being the IT guy for church when that’s kinda what he does all week.  And I was burned out from teaching and thought I wanted nothing to do with kiddos on Sundays.

But after a few weeks of settling in and then taking ownership of our new positions, we began to feel more connected with people in the church.  The senior worship staff, the band, the set-up crew.  And for me, I was getting to know kids and their families on a personal level each week.  The senior staff has done a fantastic job of making us feel like we are absolutely indispensable…which makes us even more responsive and responsible in our positions.Sunday Scripture: Work .... a new job and a familiar callingI don’t have a link for today’s Sunday Scripture…beautiful though, isn’t it?

And after 5 years of running the backside of the kids’ ministry team, I’ve finally decided to take on the role part time for the church as an “official” staff member.  My duties won’t change, although my workload will slowly increase as our ministry gets larger.  But now, I’m part of a team.  It’s been a long time {8 years!} since I’ve worked for someone else and been a part of a staff.  And although there are just 7 of us in the “official” capacity, I’m excited to be a part of the backbone of our awesome church!  #BetterTogetherSC

Have a blessed week!

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